Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
