ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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