I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize