week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
