Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
