.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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