Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
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i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.