Where did you get a picture of my penis
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.