She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody