a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
