fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
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thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?