Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.

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  (541): Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big. http://tfl.nu/ayxp
  Replies (39) Good night (702) Bad night (5014)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!

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  (651): Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST! http://tfl.nu/a9dw
  Replies (14) Good night (546) Bad night (2695)
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  (818): View more from California

  I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter

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  (818): I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter http://tfl.nu/u1op
  Replies (24) Good night (7131) Bad night (919)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.

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  (616): I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her. http://tfl.nu/z7hr
  Replies (9) Good night (5947) Bad night (863)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.

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  (919): I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes. http://tfl.nu/2m3g
  Replies (4) Good night (4325) Bad night (884)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.

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  (210): I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it. http://tfl.nu/c8qq
  Replies (4) Good night (2348) Bad night (827)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

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  (513): hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it" http://tfl.nu/04ug
  Replies (4) Good night (5568) Bad night (989)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast

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  (+61): I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast http://tfl.nu/icj5
  Replies (6) Good night (2522) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  why is my forehead so bruised?

  (1+61): View more from

  i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.

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  (+61): why is my forehead so bruised? (1+61): i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms. http://tfl.nu/t9yj
  Replies (6) Good night (2403) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.

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  (408): I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night. http://tfl.nu/u07w
  Replies (7) Good night (1460) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Is it possibile to sprain your taint?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  She was that bad?

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  (208): Is it possibile to sprain your taint? (1-208): She was that bad? http://tfl.nu/0me7
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (1087)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.

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  (410): We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off. http://tfl.nu/hhrd
  Replies (26) Good night (4415) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match

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  (303): I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match http://tfl.nu/tsdg
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  it is shots o' clock and I am never late

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  (713): it is shots o' clock and I am never late http://tfl.nu/psyc
  Replies (4) Good night (820) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why is there puke in my guitar?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Because you puked in your guitar.

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  (203): Why is there puke in my guitar? (860): Because you puked in your guitar. http://tfl.nu/mgzl
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (766)

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