Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
