i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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