No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
