dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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