Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize