So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize