Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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