____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
