chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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