Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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