I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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