i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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