She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That's how pantless uber rides happen
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
