Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
