Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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