I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
