We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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