my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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