you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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