Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
