If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Fuck appropriateness.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize