Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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