those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.