one two three fourrrrnication!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.