I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
