your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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