i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think people are normalizing furries
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
