We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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