At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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