Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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