very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
