Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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