She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
