I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize