Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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