dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
