Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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