I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
