you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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