Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
