all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
