guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Do vagina's smell?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
