Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
