Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
