Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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