so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
