Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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