Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
