do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We need a shit load of segways right now
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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