The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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