i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
