how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
