there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
