That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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