Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
