i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
